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Negotiate like your business depends on it ft. ex-F.B.I. hostage negotiator Chris Voss

Wanna find out what hostage negotiating, applying for a job, a black swan and a steakhouse outside of Washington DC have in common?

Welcome back to

This is Grace Weekly, where you can find the best take-outs we have collected for you, taken directly from our “Smart Venture Podcast” and our interviews with the best of the best.

Our 4th week will be about ex-F.B.I. hostage negotiator, WSJ Bestselling Author of Never Split The Difference, Chris Voss

Christopher "Chris" Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator, CEO of the Black Swan Group Ltd, Author of Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It©. During his 24 year tenure in the Bureau he was trained in the art of negotiation by the FBI, Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School.

“Is now a bad time to read this e-mail?”*

From negotiating for the release of someone, to making a deal in real estate or asking one of our siblings for the remote we all have been there and negotiated our way out of it (well, maybe not the first case, but you get the point).

Negotiating is part of our life and if you are an entrepreneur, being good at it isn’t just something you take for granted, but something where literally your life depends on it.

If you could just give us back the remote that would be great.

But how do you get better at it?

Well, first of all let's start with something that Chris himself taught us: “Never take advice from somebody you wouldn't trade places with”.

… Never thought about that Phil. Thanks, I guess?

How did Chris become a top FBI negotiator?

Simply. He broke his leg. (No, for real).

GG: You broke your leg before you joined the FBI (see dear reader, we weren’t kidding), which led you to become a lead negotiator. You applied to work in the front line and this lady from the office told you to volunteer at the suicide hotline, and 2 out of a couple hundred people actually did so and you're one of them. That's a legendary story.

CV: The little things in life make the biggest impact. So one of these is asking advice from the right person and never taking advice from somebody you wouldn't trade places with. I took the advice from the woman in charge of the negotiation team in New York when she said: “volunteer on a suicide hotline”. I did it and she was stunned that I actually listened. That's a little thing you could do to make all the difference in the world. If you get advice from the right person, do what they tell you to do!

GG: You have been a great negotiator, have a really strong personal brand, wrote a best-selling book and now you have your own consulting firm. You're a really successful business person. Who is on your personal board of advisors when it comes to navigating life?

We are the FBI. Well - kinda. It’s his first day.

CV: The people that you listen to who know what they're talking about, like Amy, who was the woman in charge of the hostage negotiation team in New York City. I wasn't looking for a mentor. But when you take advice from the right person, they have a tendency to watch out for you, which is what you want a mentor to do.

Good news first:

Applying Chris' tips got us back the remote control.

Master Negotiator Mode - On

GG: What happened when you were younger and made you want to become who you are today? You studied industrial administration. How did that lead you to apply for a job at the FBI?

CV: That was just a business degree. I wanted to be a cop before I went to college. While I was there, my major was sociology for a while, but I realized that I needed a more flexible degree. All along I liked the idea of flexibility. I found out that reality is business principles underlying every endeavor. Understanding how a business works helped me in law enforcement, but it also taught me principles that were applicable to everything.

GG: I'm curious, how did you find out who was going to be a good coach? There are a lot of people around you that helped you. How do you recognize who you should listen to?

CV: Well, there are two sayings, never take advice from somebody you wouldn't trade places with, and don't take directions from somebody who hasn't been where you want to go. Some people don't know what they're talking about. Just because they love you it doesn't matter.

Remember, not every advice is good advice.

GG: I've read a lot of valuable advice in your book. If we were a startup, what negotiation strategies would you recommend for securing venture capital?

CV: The book project was similar to a startup in that it required a team effort to be successful. I collaborated with Tahl Raz and my son Brandon on it. When starting a company, investors want to see that you have a strong team in place, working towards the same goals. If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go as a team. It's important to ask good questions and show that you're listening to your investors. Ask them how they want to solve problems, move forward, and what they see as the biggest challenges. As a general rule, a great founder may have started the company, but if they're not open to coaching, they may not be able to grow and evolve with the company.

Wanna be the very best? Build a good team.

GG: When it comes to tactics for raising $2 million from a sales angle, what would be your strategy for negotiating? How do you typically go about raising funding? Do you start with a high asking price and then negotiate down to a middle point?

CV: We have a successful bargaining model that works every time. Bargaining tends to be a zero-sum game, and negotiation is a positive-sum game. We focus much more on the relationship, Black Swan method, to find the sweet spot price for both parties and understand the terms surrounding it to make it a great deal. Instead of starting by asking for $6 million and settling for $2 million, you should understand what makes the $2 million a good deal for both you and the investor. This way you can avoid wasting mental energy and increase your chances of success. When negotiating, it's important to understand what a fair price would be for the other party. Once you have that understanding, they will likely be open to discussing terms. It's important to remember that the price alone doesn't make a deal, but it's the terms surrounding it that do. Price can break a deal but terms can make it.

“I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

“Grace Weekly, the stuff of legends.”

So what do we take out from this? That if you are looking for the right mentor you can find it in unexpected places. That a Black Swan isn’t just a Natalie Portman movie or a KPOP band, but something that can happen in your life and change it in unexpected ways. Starting out is tough, but whenever you are, you have to adapt along the way. Flexibility is something that can be applied to everything and it’s one of the best tools an entrepreneur can have at their disposal.

Top takeaways from our newsletter this week:

Ask advice from the right people.

Never take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with.

The best mentors watch out for you.

Investors want to know that you are team-oriented.

Flexibility can fast-track you to succeed.

Don’t f*%& with us for the remote control.

Want to have those tips with you all the time? Save it directly from here!

“Would it be ridiculous to wait for next week to get the most out of this?”**

Our newsletter will be back in 1 week. Want to know who’s gonna be our next guest?

See you in a week. ;)

(*)(**) If you want to ante up your negotiating game asap, get to know the “Top 4 No-Oriented Questions”. Head to Chris’ blog here!

If you haven’t already, but still want to improve your negotiating prowess check out Black Swan Ltd’s Blog

And if you want to listen to the full interview (come on, we won’t judge you, we would do the same), head to “Smart Venture Podcast” and listen to it!

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